Post 112 – the swirling update.
I’ve not been able to write for a long time. There are just certain things can’t can’t leave my brain. I can forget your name & not give one ounce of fuck about you or anything.
It’s weird when people use me to portray their own bullshit. Yet i still don’t give a fuck.
For it’s always been. Do you take the time to get to know me? Spent time, speak, ect? Something?
If you don’t do that? Then how must i take your bullshit seriously?
It’s one thing to talk shit behind people’s backs. But it is a completely different thing to go and believe the bullshit that you speak, to be real.
I don’t want to hear the bullshit me. I already know. So why should i care about your bullshit made up stories to laugh & be joyous as some type of friendship bonding. Because then you need the bullshit to become “real” to keep/maintain those bonds.
What has that to do with me. Nothing. Hence. I don’t the fuck want to hear your bullshit about me without even really knowing me. But thank you for trying and good bye now.
The last time i swirled out of control. Almost made it to a size 34 jeans cut. Damn. But because of other people’s bullshit & god & the fucking rain. Crash. Why didn’t you kill me, god?
500 pounds. Not that i was eating a lot. I was just eating the wrong foods.
The last i swirled out of control. I was eating so much food. Big pot of food needed to get the perfect combination of food & spice. I was trying to cut out the sugar and needed to eat a lot of food to compensate.
There was a certain after taste i was cooking towards. I don’t know how to describe it. Swallowing food & then a sensation of not knowing what it is but wanting to eat more.
I was eating a big pot of food with all the pasta and rice & even down to the bread all gone.
I just couldn’t stop myself from eating. But all i know, i make a good pot of food. May not taste well..
to my surprise after consuming all that food & crying. I was losing weight. God blessed to a size 35. i almost walked out of there with a 34.
how did i get to 500 pounds. I use a different metric system. After crashing and embracing technology. McDonald’s delivery. Pizza delivery. Kfc didn’t delivery. But that McDonald’s breakfast & coffee got me hooked.
Oh yes now i remember how i got to 500 pounds. I got the wrong type of walking shoe. My feet and legs would pain so much that i would scream out in pain, as my leg muscles would twitch as i sleep.
Now that i am swirling out of control again, i went for a walk the other day. Felt good. Nice trot going. I’ve been eating healthy, for once in my life. Did nothing to the weight though. Stay around 450 pounds even though i was eating super healthy. My poops would come out perfect. No wipe needed. So healthy am i, today. I’m down to 300 pounds. Which means i am in full spiral mode.
I found out i am more of a winter person. But because of global warming, winter is fucking cold now. But it was nice to get out & walk again.
In summer time, i am dead and gone. Too hot. I don’t have the body for summer. But in winter time, then i can go jog with my tits out. Where for others it’s too cold even wrapped up.
This is typically the time i do write. But again. I am not really writing for anyone.
Contact page and let me know if you want me to write more.
Big update. This site is closing. Been using it for testing. I’m not a writer, clearly.
Big update. Company, new site, youtube, onlyfans for feedback. Merch. And a whole lot of sad content. Lol. I mean, bad content. It’s for me, not you. And to see if i can get some people working.
But only with your support.
Can i live.